Only God Know's Why........

okay.....here goes but i am not sure whether i am tlaking crap again...

so anyway what i have found myself sometimes being lonely and sometimes being ignored by everybody but anyway all i can say only God knows why coz he is the only person that who know me so well and know my feeling also

have you ever thought in life...why are you the only one that see the world in ur own eyes but to see the world is only in where you are right now??
and sometimes why are you born in this world at this place and at this time??
mostly this is where is all my wonders thinking that we all have reason and a purpose to live in my lovely hometown MIRI!!! hahahhaa....

a for me living in miri and born in this loving and humble family it makes me more to feel and stay at home, it was a great experience to stay in a warm and comfortable environment.....other than being a rich also it doesnt make a difference...

another wonder....why there are rich people must or have to get a fancy car and a fancy house? i wonder only God knows why.... for me into life we all need money well can say that is our daily needs to survive through out our life spenditure on this earth

so as i can say as i am a christian i admit myself also that i am nt that holy also even if i got go to church every week and read God's Manual Book (pm or comment me what is mean by God's manual book) think that i am a holy person.....mann!! we are not that perfect wat... am i rite???..... so living in this world is not that bad at all

coz in life we're going to have lots of ups and downs and through heartbreak and pain all in our life so eventhough i do experience it all and i really do cherish all the moment of what happen in many ways....

for some of us we do have feelings also....it could be all the mixture of feelings that we feel....happy, sad, etc....some to the extend also people tooo happy till can go lucky...welll that is some pharases that we humans wan to be rite?

so as for me how do i feel rite now?? it is all a mixture of feelings that i am having rite now.....hahahaha.....

oh yes... another part is that why must we bring our feelings from home to a working place and effect anybody for example ure feelig unhappy then you go to work then BAM!!! see for example a scenario


Mr. A : Hi, good morning mr.b?
Mr. B : yea yea...
Mr. A : Wassup with u? is there anything wrong?
Mr. B : hey....does it really matter to you if u ask me what happen to me if i'm fcking dead would care?

Mr. A : ok.....(walks away)


so as you can see also this kind of also can exist ah?? well.... i do experience it anyway so for me lah the best way i walk away and dun care anybody at all
so right now i have my solitary moment for a week and all this give me a thought and think back what did i miss or what did i mess up anything sometimes thinking of this i have all of misture feelings and plus i do entertain myself...

so being lonely its kinda ok with me.....coz maybe i can feel like i am being accompany....so many among the years since schooling since little till to day i have a handful frieds which some can cherish friendship but then just drop it and gone with the wind some also last only a few hours then dissappear in to thin air....or when i do have new friends some of them may thought that i may fall for them and i don't alrite?? i like to get closer coz to know u all significantly......

well for me i cannot take the big pressure of a friends leaving or anything coz its like someone hating me so much....


oh welll...i can go this on and on and it is unstopable so can say this is all i can say for now coz i am depressed rite now....ok guys thanx for your time reading and please do understand me as for me i try to understand my own feeling i also not sure to trust myself welll as my topic says Only God knows why.....



cya ciao
sincere kev